The Un-Ladylike Runner

Bodily functions happen.  Oh, and guess what! Women fart too.  We’ll also blow snot rockets – aka, farmer blows – and it’s quite common for us to launch a good blob of spit at least a few times during a run.  I’m completely including myself in this horrid description of being anything but “ladylike.”  Please.

Yesterday my boyfriend, Joe, and I went on our first couple’s run.  We’ve done Insanity together, jogged a few times around a gym together, shot hoops at the court, but we’ve never actually ran a good distance.  Apparently, you can learn a lot about the other person on a run like this.  For instance, I’m not much of a bodily function kind of person if you know what I mean.  At least, in front of my boyfriend.  As for a burp or fart, unless it just slips out those two things are kept to a minimal level.

Until Joe pointed it out, never had I thought about it…but, all my lady qualities are abandoned when running!

About four minutes into our 3.5 miler yesterday I warned Joe, yeah I’ll probably fart a few times…try not to be downwind of me.  That was followed by a swift spit into the snow.  I cussed under my breath when I stumbled through the snow piles at the street approaches.  At one point, I even went as far as to avoid a small patch of ice by darting in front of Joe, instead causing him to nearly trip and fall.  Our run was completed with a swift snot rocket from each of my nostrils.  Lovely.

So for those of you who honk at the women running on the side of the streets, this post probably threw all thoughts sexy and h-o-t or fine out the window.  Odds are she probably let one go during that little exercise outing.

Here’s a favorite running YouTube video of Paula Radcliffe.  Think I’m insane writing about women being un-ladylike while running? Well, even the greats can’t control themselves sometimes:

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One Response to The Un-Ladylike Runner

  1. Alyssa says:

    Definitely made me giggle. I am the EXACT same way with my boyfriend. We have our good days and bad days of running together. Also, not exactly proud to admit it but… his new and inforced rule: No FiberOne bars before running.